That you should not be alarmed of ok!
These are the pure thoughts in my brain
Expressed as they are
as they come
as they go
Do not be alarmed
Do not feel bad for me
Do not ask me to explain
Let me be me
And let me let go of these thoughts through this post
I want to be heard
But I also want to be treated as if I am still the happy self that many know me of
If you can't do that
DO NOT READ!
I warned you!
Those who on the other hand can do that and are curious about it
are welcommed to read this
Now lets begin!
.
.
.
.
.
.
I want to die
I feel nothing
Me saying those are a lie
But they express my feelings
That is absurd
Who cares
This is my time to talk
My time to open up
My time to tell how I think words
Do I think in words in my brain?
Sometimes I don't
At least not in any human adapted language
Wut am I an alien then?
Lol no..
Gosh I wanna stab myself and be done with life already..
I don't care if people cry over my dead body
I failed at life anyways
Why am I even trying to do anything
I am so tired of pleasing
Can I just be selfish and die
Or be selfish and just live as I want
This system is so corrupted
Ppl are idiots
Bunch of idiots
And I am the worst one of them all
Gosh I wish I'd be hated and left to die
Stop caring about me and make this easier for me
Can I just jump under a moving train
All the blood spashing everywhere
Beautiful
Or maybe hang on a tree
Or get run over by a truck
I just wanna die
I wanna die
I wanna die
I wanna die
I am just trouble for others
I am troubling others with my problems
You lowlife
Why do I keep caring though
I should not care
Detach myself
Distance myself
Begone
Easy as that yeah
But no
I just wish it would be
"You have to be a good girl"
For who?
Mom?
My bff?
My family especially the kids who look up for me?
No
No I don't wanna
I want to be selfish
I want to be like my brothers
I want to give up
But no
No
No
No
No
No
I can't
I don't wanna
I can't want that
I'm so tired
I'm sleepy
My eyes are droopy
I wanna close them and sleep
In the day I will feel better right?
Maybe not
I'll just be a fake happy girl like every day
Ugh
My brain wants to explain this all..
Even my brain doesn't let me just talk...
Cause it is afraid of ppl starting to panic over this
Hanging over details
Or getting hurt
Yeah well
I warned them
I did
But if they didn't heed it
Oof
STOP CARING
Anxiety go to somewhere else now!
Let depression talk
Let it finish and move on
I am so done
Stop battling in my head
Stop the swirl
Stop
Stop it
My teeth hurt...
Heck that wisdom teeth
It is pushing out real hard atm
It hurts
It makes me cranky
It makes half of my lip feel numb
But my gums hurt
Stop hurting!
Sucking or gritting teeth or pushing them teeth forward doesn't help
Only pain
Is this on purpose?
God did you do this on purpose so my mind would be occupied with something else than this text?
Wow
I guess so
It is easying up a bit
Fine fine I'll stop.
Enough teraphy for one night.
Now I can just publish this and send these thoughts off
Good bye depression thoooughts!
You mean nothing to me!
From, SmalderPocoolo
